Writer's Block

sort of.

I’m experiencing what feels like writer’s block. I knew this was bound to happen with a life transition as big as starting a full time job is. I’ve spent a lot of minutes and hours staring at these empty post pages on substack, and then writing rambling posts about a lot of everything. At this point, I even have four or five posts that are finished, yet have remained unpublished. And the thing is, none of them felt rich or relevant enough to share. Staring at the pieces I thought, “What is On Holiday, really?”

I asked myself this and other questions while sitting on the sand in Venice Beach last weekend, inhaling the salt air. I had just finished a solo lunch at Gjusta, and went shopping, acquiring two gorgeous pastel-colored beeswax candles. I looked out at the glimmering sea and thought, “What do I really want to share?” and if I’m being honest, I’d like to share all of it. I love sharing, and I feel like a big part of me is missing when I don’t. I want to share my experience of being a first generation American. I want to share photos and recipes from my dinner parties [and host more of them IRL]. I want to talk more about Shabbat. I want to talk about fashion and the coffee and croissant breakfast that I had every day of the two weeks I was in Europe last summer. I want to share more about the traditions that lie in the folds of my heritage lines that I hope to resurrect and pass down to my future children. I want to dive deep into rituals like tea ceremony and Turkish coffee, why they resonate with me. I want to share my perspective of the world with you. But I also just want to talk to you. To share my contemplations.

So basically, what I’m saying, is that I don’t really have writer’s block, but I have built up a resistance to sharing my full self in fear that it won’t come across as cohesive. But really, who is cohesive? We are all just mosaics of people made up of a million interests and emotions and hopes and dreams, and I am one of these people. So, buckle up because the über structured set up of my day-to-day job is making me crave even more to color outside of the lines. On Holiday is, and kind of has always been, a place for my mind to go on vacation. This is merely a blank canvas, and I’m really excited to keep creating.

With all of my heart.

-M