It's Always Been About Girlhood
It’s been a long while since I’ve shared an essay, and to be honest, it’s been hard to write. I’ve been navigating what it looks like to grieve something that is deeply misunderstood and shrugged off by many. I’m navigating what it looks like to feel deep fear and frustration and anger for places and people who don’t deserve to be caught in political games led by men who seem to be blinded by the way of the patriarchy. I’m allowing myself to show up how I can in these times and am being gentle with what that looks like.
One thing I know for certain is that it is more important than ever to hold on to the vision of the divine feminine and plant the seeds for the divine masculine to join us here.
Here’s what has been on my heart.
A few weeks ago, this dance video went viral on the internet.
A group of girls in a classic American uniform—jeans, white t-shirts, and cowboy boots—ride into the desert in the back of a pickup truck. They’re dropped off against an Arizona backdrop of tall cactus trees and dusty tan earth, and they begin to dance. Kicking up clouds of dust, they move with what can only be described as pure feminine energy. They dance with guts.
For those 3 minutes and 5 seconds, I melted into my screen. I merged with these girls. I was one of them—dancing with my whole body, giggling until our sides hurt, and probably eating ice cream piled high with rainbow sprinkles afterward. This video reminded me of the lightness and sweetness of girlhood.
But it wasn’t just nostalgia. Every second of that video encapsulated a feeling I’ve been working with for years: the return to my inner girl.
I began remembering her—my 8-year-old self—around the time I turned 30. And I dove deep into myself to retrieve all parts of her. Nowadays, and with years of practice, I do everything with her in mind. She is my counsel, my wisdom, my compass.
To be born a girl is a sacred teaching. It’s not for the weak of heart. Girlhood is a lesson in wildness and softness, strength and vulnerability. It’s catching tadpoles, believing in fairies, screaming into the night, and gliding through all of it in a beautiful flowing dress. It’s about believing in magic and dreaming big—and not giving those dreams up when someone tells you you’re being or asking for “too much.” Because these visions are truth, and they are only the beginning of what we deserve.
Being a woman, I’ve come to believe, is about merging with the wild, untamed girl we once were—and learning to carry her forward into our womanhood. It’s about spending our days nurturing her, listening to her, dancing with her. Because when we master love for our inner girl we can turn outwards to the collective and love each other with more empathy.
In 2023, I spoke a lot about The Wild Woman. I felt like I was in a cocoon, reclaiming what it means to be a woman in her divine power. I spent two years in that womb of contemplation, forming.
Then, something shifted. Last fall, it clicked.
I could feel that I wasn’t alone. Around the flurry of U.S. elections, we women weren’t sleeping. We were stirred awake by something ancient, something coded into us from birth. Sleepless nights brought a message: it’s time to emerge. The age of divine feminine is here, and we are coming online to heal the relationship between the balance of feminine and masculine—to relearn what these archetypes truly mean.
A few weeks ago, I felt the collective female spirit descend into the birth canal. We are finally ready. Yes, there is discomfort, uncertainty, unrest—but also a deep knowing. A knowing that we are destined for something greater. That we are no longer here to play small.
We are suspended in a liminal space, between gestation and emergence, between girlhood and womanhood, between softness and strength. Dreams are speaking louder to us now. Ancestors are whispering. Wild synchronicities drop into our lives daily, begging us to follow the threads.
The girls are turning inward. Trusting their guts. We are remembering our roots in magic and nurturing as the most potent medicine. We are honoring the tendencies of our younger selves and allowing these rougher cut edges to drive the car.
I’ve come to a point in my life where I trust my inner girl more than anyone else. I let her lead the way. Last week, that meant wearing glitter eyeshadow to an event for the first time in years, and wandering around a neighborhood before heading home, diverting from my memorized route. Following my inner girl leads to sponteneity and a more gentle way of living each day. And I know the collective needs this now. We all are yearning for more softness—the embrace of a mothers arms holding us tight and whispering into our hair that we are safe. We crave joy and the carefree feeling that comes with a warm summer night and a bag full of candy. And the wild women know it’s time for this soft power to emerge and push back on “the way things have always been done.”
Because we all deserve the magic of girlhood.
We all hold this sacred knowledge of the womb. Without us, there is no life. And yet, the world has told us that being a girl is “weak,” that it is something to grow out of. That softness equals smallness.
This is a lie we no longer believe.
We are rising to the truth. The truth that has lived at the base of our bellies for years. It festered into cysts, autoimmune diseases, submission. We shrank ourselves to fit lives that were too small.
But now we remember, and there’s no turning back.
As those girls danced in the Tulsa desert, swinging their hips in a cloud of dust, we looked into the mirror—and recognized ourselves. The truth of our wild, inner girls stared back at us.
It’s time to gather and dance. Because it is in this image—free, full, confident, and wildly ourselves—that we will change the world.
Things That Feel Like Girlhood Right Now
Smelling roses
Speaking out loud instead of staying quiet to keep the peace
Alex Elle’s Gentle Reminder perfume (smells like being 13 again)
Honeysuckle—talk of it everywhere: foraging, nectar memories, bar soap from a local herbalist
Hibiscus (she’s calling to many of us lately)
Reading fantasy novels
Sleepovers with fresh baked cookies and silly activities
Shopping for a pretty outfit just because
Wandering with no agenda
Beautiful: “We are suspended in a liminal space, between gestation and emergence, between girlhood and womanhood, between softness and strength. Dreams are speaking louder to us now. Ancestors are whispering. Wild synchronicities drop into our lives daily, begging us to follow the threads.”
This reminds me of Women Who Run with Wolves-which I read ages ago and inspired a re-read. Thank you for this much needed gift and reminder.